Divorce and Stress

Jai, a 9 year old boy admitted in Paediatric ICU, was referred to me with major complaints of breathlessness and increased anger for past 2 months. His symptoms deteriorated in the past 1 week and he was also missing school. After assessing and diagnosing the situation of the child we came to know that his parents had separated, for almost 2 years and he was hoping they will get together. However a week back he got to know that his father had married and HAD recently had a child from another marriage. This was a setback for the child, after which his symptoms worsened. Jai had major trusting issues, as both parents had different versions and reasons for separation.

So the complications of separation never fail to spring surprises for us as clinicians.

It’s interesting how two individuals in a relationship decide to end it because either one of them is distressed or may be both of them were unhappy. Divorce might seem as a solution at one time can itself become stressful in so many ways. This many a times as individuals we are not able to anticipate. Please view divorce with utmost sensitivity, maturity and preparedness. Hence if you are opting for it, be ready to deal with “DIVORCE” completely.

So many factors determine how stressful it can be:

• How old is the relationship?
• Support system available?
• Involvement of children?
• Age of the children?
• Reason for separation? Incompatibility? Abusive relationship? Infidelity?
• Is the divorce consensual?
• Is the divorce going to the court?
• Arrangement of living after separation?

Depending on how well you are prepared to deal with above will determine to a large extent as to how less stressful you shall make it for yourself.

Mostly in long unsatisfactory relationships sometimes one of the spouses could also be suffering from some kind of mental illness like depression, anxiety, or alcohol use to name a few, it would really help if one seeks help from the professional rather than being in denial.